#27 hold on or let go

| r |

Dear Internet,

We found Sid!

Or, rather, he found me. I don’t know, who of you follow the comment threads under my posts, but someone introduced himself as Sid there. I followed his instructions for contact and I am convinced he really is my great-grandfather’s colleague. What’s even better is his promise to help me to get home.

The biggest problem Ben mentioned in his research was finding a power source mighty enough to fuel a micro black hole for the necessary duration. It seems that’s what Sid was working on. What’s more, it was always the plan to revert the travel, so there is a backup in existence and Sid has promised to try and get it ready while I am on my way to pick it up. Friends, I’ll be leaving Berlin shortly. I am packing as I am writing this.

I am over the moon! But at the same time…

Without kindness, one is but a bitter anekdote.

Dear Nana,

I think I am falling for Hannah. I get giddy and flustered every time we meet. When she is not there, I daydream about telling her the truth. I could be wrong, but she might have feelings for me as well. I know I have to leave. There are things that need to be done in my time, friends and family I need to get back to. But when I see her, for a moment there, I wish it weren’t so. For the first time since I arrived, I feel connected, even if my secrets keep me from being truly close to her. I finally feel human.

Don’t laugh, I’ve started to sing love songs under the shower. I told her I want to visit a friend in Russia and she is helping me plan a route that bypasses borders and checkpoints. I wonder sometimes how she knows all these things, but I guess if you are at home in the architecture of this old-timey knowledge sphere called the “internet”, you can get quite far by just asking the right questions on the right websites. Hannah is going to lend me some warm clothing as well. I’ve been wearing layers of hand-me-downs all winter, but they are not going to be enough. Fortunately, she is only a little taller than me, so I can use some of her warmer things.

Sid is sending me some money for the journey… I would never be able to get this far on a barista salary alone. As exciting as it is to see something of this past world besides Berlin, it’s also quite a risk. These are not the times to travel without papers. I promise to keep posting on time, to keep you all updated on my progress. And I definitely want to take more photographs as well.

As I promised to be discrete about information regarding Sid’s base, I can only leave you with this: The middle of nowhere is a real place, it seems. Not everything is mapped yet, and even satellites have blind spots. You think your world is completely recorded, that all the mystery has disappeared with the wide spreading of digital reality. It’s not. There are still adventures and explorations to be had and I am so lucky to be part of one. Thanks to towe and Luzia we found Ben’s last password: tachyons. That’s how we fell on Sid’s radar of keywords. Internet, this time you have really outdone yourself. I would never have been able to find this madman on my own.

Without fellow humans, one is but a loose end in someone else’s story. Without kindness, one is but a bitter anecdote. Without love, one cannot have a future.

Traveling through space to travel through time,


2 thoughts on “#27 hold on or let go

  1. Dear R,

    I was truly stunned when I read Sid’s comment. I am happy that you now have a glimpse of hope to return to your time. Looking forward to hear about your travels — take care, it’s cold in Russia 🙂

    Also, I feel happy for you getting close to Hannah. I like your somewhat more positive outlook on this world that appears to be connected to your new emotional state of mind. Yes, open up to special persons in your life! Yes, give and receive kindness!

    Take care,

  2. Dear towe,
    as I write we are on a highway close to the Ukraine. The driver, a girl who has just gotten her license and is thus super happy to show off her driving skills, lets me use a mobile data connection. It’s a bit wonky, so I hope this get through to you. As you may have seen in the images, I am on a real roadtrip.
    I am at the same time exited and frightened. There are a million things that could go wrong. But people so far have been kind, so here’s hoping. You might be right about my changed outlook. I’ve lacked a real support system for a while, and it shows. Weird that my brain only realizes this, now that my situation has changed so much. A defense mechanism perhaps? I wish I had better access to knowledge here, but I’ll have to make due with guesswork only for a little while longer… if all goes well. Thanks for sticking with me, I’ll keep you posted!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *