#33 prisms, entangled

| r |

Dear Nana,

I really hope you have already found Ben, because the machine is almost finished and I’ll soon return to all of you if things work according to plan. We need to make sure he does whatever he did last time in order to switch places with me again. Sid has told me what to do so I can be ready when the machine is and so can Ben.

All of your collections look better in the sun light.

Dear Ben,

It occurred to me that should my plan work out, we won’t ever meet. You’ll be here, and I’ll return to 2107, To my time, my friends, my family. It’s a shame. I mean, in a way I feel like I already know you because I read so many of your notes and talked to Arjin and Sid. But that’s also why I would be so curious to meet you. I have so many questions, I wonder what it would be like to sit down with you and talk about art, like you talked about art with Arjin. Talk science with you like you talked science with Sid. I’d also be really interested to know how you’ve been doing in my time. Have you met Neel? Or Mosiva?

Have you visited Claude in Otaki? June must be somewhere around Sinus Aestuum right now, they are planting hemp in a biosphere there and she is researching the mutation capability under high exposure of interstellar radiation. I guess that would make her pretty hard to reach for you. It must be difficult to be living in the same time as your granddaughter and not be able to meet her in person. At least both of us are not in the same time, even though there is some kind of entanglement going on. We are about the same age, you and I. The time line that I come from is the one where you disappeared and never came back, which is the whole reason I went looking for your story. It’s the reason I found your place and the reason I triggered the machine. But what if you disappeared because you traveled to the future? Am I fulfilling a premise that was set up before I was born or changing a future that will happen once I get back?

I wish you could have met Taalea. She was June’s partner for 25 years and my bio mom. I am forever grateful for the love I was surrounded by growing up , even if it had to end with the tragedy of her death. When the hurricane hit, we didn’t even know she was in the area… Thinking of her is the only thing that makes me wish I was changing the future. It’s irrational, emotional and selfish and I do not care at all. But wishing it does not make it so and I guess I can be glad if I am lucky enough to not mess up the future too much.

In other news, the construction is going along quite well. Even though I don’t know enough about the programming required to engineer the power source into your hexagonal prism system, Hanna’s friends are very helpful in bringing my art project together. It still sucks to lie to them, but to my shame I must admit I’ve gotten pretty good at it by now. Your time has certainly taught me how to come up with a story on the spot…

By the way, I’ve been telling Arjin that you are visiting a friend in Russia, so she doesn’t worry too much. But let’s get you back so you can tell her , whatever you think you should tell her yourself. I’ve also been calming down your neighbors about the explosion. I told them it was a rave and that you are very sorry and it won’t happen again (well, I guess it will happen one more time). Oh, and I’ve been watering your plants. The ficus has been a little sad, but Hanna told me that’s normal in winter. It’s missing the sun like the rest of Berlin.

The machine I am building is your machine of course, but I think you will find that there are traces of me in it. I took a few pictures of its reflections. They are quite beautiful when the sun shines through the windows. All of your collections look better in the sunlight.

I should be able to finish things up within the next month and I really hope you will be ready for re-entanglement then…or is it now? I imagine it will be hard for you to say goodbye to the future, just like I am having a hard time letting go of this past, especially of Hanna of course. She knows something is up because I have been distancing myself to make things less shitty when I am gone. But she is smart, of course she is. Is this what you have been doing to Arjin? Because I am not sure it’s helping too much. Maybe I need a different approach? Distancing only seems to make her frustrated and both of us miserable. She wouldn’t believe the truth, so what else can I say?

In your ephemeral state you are a faceless benevolent being to me.

Dear Internet,

You read that right. Things are in the works, wheels are beginning to turn, I have a plan that is becoming a reality. Exciting, isn’t it? In your ephemeral state you are a faceless benevolent being to me, but of course all of you are individuals as well. Please keep me company these last few weeks as I prepare for the crazy journey back through the looking glass.

Packing my bags & canned peaches,


One thought on “#33 prisms, entangled

  1. Dear R,

    it is so exciting to follow your progress. Your machine looks fascinating — especially on an esthetic dimension. Are you doing allright? I guess building a time machine can cause deeper cuts and bruises than your regular home-improvement gig… just a citizen of the faceless benevolent internet worrying…

    Regarding Hanna: please be honest to her. Why wouldn’t she believe the truth? If there is love between the two of you, honesty should be its foundation. Please do not “time-ghost” on her. Even if she does not yet believe immediately and thinks that you are crazy, if there is love, she will still love you and support you. True, saying good bye will be harder, but imagine her looking for you after you are gone — maybe for the rest of her life — and never finding answers to those many questions that will accumulate in her mind whenever it spins around the thought of having lost you.

    Looking forward to a sign of life and progress,

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